Out Sick

---

That is where I have been for some time.

I’ve been fighting the CRUDDS, as I call it, for quite a while now….but on Friday it hit me hard.  Then my temperature went to over 102 degrees for the second time on Saturday, and one of my children said I needed to go to the doctor.  Well, I don’t like to go to doctors…have had enough of them, among other reasons.  But the way I was feeling, it was quickly becoming the only conceivable option.

My oldest child got wind of my illness, and he and his fiance came over at around 10:30pm and decided it was time to take me to the Hospital, as my fever had gone above 103 degrees.  They packed me in the car (Hey when did I become the child here), and off we went.

I guess when you get a fever that high…you jump to the top of the waiting list in the emergency room (one of a few reasons to accomplish that feat).

  They poked and prodded…took blood…x-rays of my chest…ekg, I.V’s…all the good stuff, and then we waited for the results….and waited…….and waited…..AND WAITED…

So…around 2am, yes you heard, 2am and 2 I.V. bags of fluid later.  They came in and told me they could not find the source of infection that would spike a temperature that high, the tests came back and all they could find was….I had the beginnings of a cold!!!!

                               WHAT????? BEGINNINGS OF A COLD??????

I have been like this for over 3 weeks…minus the temperature…and it is the BEGINNINGS of a cold?

Well, that was an expensive explanation of my illness.  Other than the fact that I was severely dehydrated (thus the 2 bags of fluid), the trip to the hospital was a bust.

  Should have stayed home, you know, the warm, cozy, safe place where Mom is there to take care of you…

Bring you chicken soup…  Plenty of fluids…  and be there to hold your hand and rub your forehead, and tell you it will be fine in the morning…

WAIT!!!!

I AM THE MOM…MY MOM IS NO LONGER HERE…NOW WHAT???

Ok…So, I came home, got plenty of fluids, no chicken soup, as I am too sick to make it, but I did make myself a hot drink…  Nice cup of Herbal tea, with Honey and Lemon.

And something for the aches and pains…

  obviously not this many pills, but a couple for the headache…and I went to bed…again…Now is is Tuesday and…

  Although a bit better…fever came back another time, but my body finally fought it off…today, my temperature is back to almost normal.  I just need to get rid of all the other cruddy stuff.

Well enough to type a post, but not to delve into anything serious.  I will do that tomorrow.

Thanks for Hearing my tale of woe!

Sincerely;

Bea Heard

DESPAIR

I know that I use a lot of definitions in my posts, and this one is no exception.  The meaning of despair is very clear…not only in the above definition, but in pictures that need no words.

  

Despair is all-encompassing. When you are in the depths of despair, it can seem never-ending, almost as if you were drowning with no hope of being saved.

I know how despair feels, yet today, it is not my despair I’m writing about.  I am seeing some of the ones I love going through their own struggles with despair, and it hurts much worse than my own.  I think it is because when I see it in them, and I can do nothing to ease the pain…I wish it could be me instead.

I have been through a sleepless night, and I want so much to take them in my arms and let them know it will be ok…as when they were children, and you could hold them and comfort them, and make it better.

But these are not things that can be so easily taken away.  I want to help, but don’t know where to start.  It is a very helpless feeling…that in itself is a form of despair.

It is something I wish with all my heart I could fix.  I want to be their beacon, and bring them safely home.

   but I also know that this is something they need to

fix mostly on their own.  I will though be there for them, and Pray for them, and hope that they will find their way out of the darkness.

I hope they know that I HEAR them!

Again, it is a time for this picture…Please do not get offended by it.  It is more for me than anyone else…I will pray that they know he is there for them too.

  God…please deliver them from their pain!

Thanks for Hearing!

Sincerely;

Bea Heard

SURVIVAL

Surviving can take many forms.  It can be many things and look very different in everyone’s life.

Websters definition of Survival is this…

So, I believe that my survival, looks vastly different from your survival, and our survival looks different from the rest of the world.  We all need to be aware that there are different levels of survival in our own lives and in the lives of others.

I survive day-to-day, and at the worst of times it can  be second to second.  But my second to second is nothing like the second to second for this person…

or these people…

and completely different from these…

 I guess what I am trying to say is this.  We all survive.  We survive a work day…

 

  

We survive Loss, loneliness, abuse, war, peace, financial ups and downs, winters, summers, school, friends, family, religion, race…I can go on and on about the types and ways we all survive.

As a Human race we have survived through many things.  We have grown and developed, changed along the way (not always for the better), and hopefully we learn from the lessons survival teaches us.

Let’s all try to remember that we are not alone in our survival, though at times it may feel that way.

We need others to help us on whatever path we may take…yes, some things we must do alone, but in the long run…we survive best together.

So, if you see someone who is surviving, lend a hand, if you need someone while you are surviving, reach out.  Then the paths we all must walk, will not seem so lonely…

 we can begin to heal, and survive to see the light of another day…

Believe you are Strong, because you are, Believe you can do anything you set your mind to, because you can…The road is not going to be without its bumps, but it can be Survived!

 Thanks for Hearing!

Sincerely;

Bea Heard