Back Again

Well, you may have thought that I dropped off the face of the earth.  It almost seems as if I did sometimes.

Sorry that I have not written, here at least, for quite some time.  I have been busy with my Stitching, Knitting, Crocheting, for newborns both in the family and for other families as well.  I will post some of the things I have accomplished.

 

Wish I could say I have accomplished as much within myself as well, but it seems that I have taken more than a step backward in my hope of moving forward dealing with, surviving, and changing the things from my past that need to be confronted.

I want to move forward and keep getting stuck in my own mind.  I know that sometimes my body just takes over and does things I don’t consciously know about.  That’s what is hard about P.T.S.D., with its many layers, each one like an onion, has the ability to make you cry.  Something I try hard to avoid, yet it creeps up on me all the time.

The problem is, it is much easier to just push everything back inside and pretend nothing ever happened.  Because then I would have to admit that I am no longer the strong person I used to be, that I allowed someone to control me to the point that I lost not only that strength but the person inside as well.

It’s late, (or should I say early in the morning) and I was on the computer not really doing much of anything when I checked to see if this blog was still here.  I remembered the password and everything, so I figured it was a sign that I needed to say something.  After all, I started this blog to be heard, so what am I doing being silent?

I’ve made a decision I’ve been silent too long and that I need to continue this journey to be heard.  I know it will take strength that I’m not sure I have as of yet, but if I persevere, I may be able to somehow obtain it.  I hope so.

Along the way, I know I will need a push from supportive people and hope that any of you who read this will let me know how I am doing, along with sharing your stories with me as well.

Thank you for reading.  I hope to have more for you and hear more from you soon.

I’m attaching a picture I found on pinterest…not sure who made it, but it says everything I feel inside.  I Thank the person who made it…It will become my new motto in moving forward.

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Thanks for Hearing.

Sincerely; Bea

Now below you will find, what I said I’d post here…just a few of the stitching, knitting and crocheting projects I’ve accomplished, in the time I’ve been silent.

 

Baby Bib pink Front      Crochet Chunky Baby Bear Earflap Hat with booties   Crochet Chunky Baby Boy Earflap Hat with booties   Crochet Christmas Santa Wreath 1

That’s all for now…Have a Fantastic day!

STRUGGLING!

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That word can mean so many things. From Struggling with your first steps, words, feelings, when you are small, to growing up and struggling with peers, fitting in, homework, making the grade, getting into a good college…or getting in to one at all.

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Then there is the struggle with world Hunger, racism, Political Unrest, Homelessness, Mental Health, Body Image, Phobias, Fears, Money Issues…

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In general… Everyone, Everywhere has some kind of tightrope to walk each day, and as the saying goes…”You cannot judge someone, until you have walked a mile in their shoes.”  That is so true, because the tightrope you are walking, and the tightrope I’m walking, and the tightrope others are walking, are not just real, but the fall can be as damaging to me as it can be for you.

Found this picture at vividlife.me

Found this picture at vividlife.me

I know I have been guilty of making statements like….. “If they want to know what problems are, I’ll show them problems.”…or… “What do they know of trouble, they should have my life?”…. and the big one…”They deserve it, they brought it on themselves.”

Why is it then, that when we hear statements like that, we are quick to get upset at those who made them, but cannot even recognize when we do it ourselves? We all face our individual demons in life.

Such a Powerful picture...I found it on thedistinctdot.com...and to me it can mean so many things...our struggles with body image, our trapped deamons, our reaching out to others....everyone can see here what they need to see.

Such a Powerful picture…I found it on thedistinctdot.com…and to me it can mean so many things…our struggles with body image, our trapped demons, our reaching out to others….everyone can see here what they need to see.

I sit here struggling with a Mental Health issue, and I see things posted on Facebook and other social media, that condemns problems like I face, and Millions of others in the world face much of the same.  Then I recoil, and retreat back into my little cave of a world, where I feel safe, and don’t have to hear or read anything that makes me feel smaller than I already feel.

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I know there are many out there who share those same feelings…maybe not for the same reasons…someone may be shrinking back from the crowd because of low self-esteem, some from peer pressure, some from racism, others still from any number of Phobias, fears, etc.

We need to stop Judging others, and thinking that because they are Bigger or Smaller, Thinner or Thicker, Black or White, Christian or Muslim, Poor or Wealthy, Outgoing or introverted…that they need to somehow be fixed by us… We can help in healing IF THEY NEED IT(why do we think that people need to be fixed if they are different…they will ask for help if they need it, or they may not be ready for help if they do need it.), but we are wrong to Judge them, and persecute them because of what they wear or the way that they think.

Take the time to WALK IN THEIR SHOES…and I don’t mean to just think about it for a few seconds…Really take the time to get to know about the things you are unfamiliar with…because it is in Not Knowing that we make the mistake of Judging.

If you really knew my problems, or If I really knew yours, we would be less likely to do and say things that are hurtful, and or harmful to others.

I struggled today to get out of bed, and go about my day…then I think…there are some out there who don’t even have a place to lay their head.  It was only then, when I thought about others that I was able to get myself out of my cave…but I don’t want to be judged as to why I need my cave in the first place.

 No one wants to be judged unfairly…NO ONE!  We all need to understand that each of our struggles are very real and very debilitating, in our individual realities…Then we need to show a little more compassion when looking at others….maybe that is when our own struggles, won’t be as hard to handle.

Thanks for Hearing!

Bea Heard