Quick Update…

Today, I felt that I would like to update you on our October 18th Celebration and a few other things.

We had a Great time together…Watched Fast and Furious 7, and made Pizza (I make the dough, they make their own pizza), and of course we had our toast.  Then my oldest stayed the night (nice!!!), and we were able to have a long overdue talk.

This past week has been a trying one (I know it is Wednesday, I mean since last Wednesday)… My youngest is 19 and likes to think showing no emotion and being strong all the time is how life should be lived, had something happen in my child’s upper neck, that at first I thought must be the way it was slept on. But alas..that was not it, because even when there was absolutely no movement…the pain would shoot at random.  Tried to set up a trip to the doctor…but that was a..No Go!  So it is still being dealt with…pain is intermittent.  It is hard to see your child in such pain, and be unable to do anything to make it better…As a Mom, we like to make things better.

My middle child is having a hard time with job and finances, and tries so hard to make everything work.  Just needs to calm down and relax a bit. Want to help, but don’t have the resources necessary!  Just trying to be supportive.

My oldest is making decisions that I wish I could change, but as a parent you can only give advice and step back, let them make their own decisions and be there to help them if they need you…Hard when they are no longer small enough to do for them.

So now to me.   I have been trying to find work to do in my home, but the options are so very limited.  P.T.S.D., and the way it is affecting me, is hard to deal with, especially when you need money to survive.

An opportunity presented itself, and I jumped right on it…waited…got a return email…needed to take an online test…did not have a computer that allowed what they needed…borrowed one…took the test…did ok I guess, as I got a return email to go forward. By this time the computer I borrowed was no longer here…tried on my small computer…could not finish, because of said computer…needless to say…got another email stating…they were looking elsewhere for the right fit.

Ok…Onward and upward…thats all I can say.  I will not give up…not on my children…not in my job search…and most definitely, Not in my Recovery!!!

Thanks for Hearing! (sorry not pictures today)

Sincerely;

Bea Heard

De-Stressing

Today…I’m pretty much just winging it.  Had no real plan for a blog post, it just came to me as I was doing my thing, and trying to De-Stress.  I just thought I’d share a couple of the ways I calm myself down.

wpid-screenshot_2015-10-13-09-46-57.jpg

The above image tells it all…I’m using it because that represents Cooking for me.  I love to cook, bake, just about anything culinary.  And when I’m stressed, I cook.

I also love to Read, Knit, Crochet, do all manner of crafty things…

Just a few items from my pile of things I've knit and crocheted in the past week...need to have a craft sale.

Just a few items from my pile of things I’ve knit and crocheted in the past week…need to have a craft sale.

wpid-screenshot_2015-10-13-09-43-49_1.jpg Love to read!

Of course a cup of coffee or tea can’t hurt the process.

wpid-screenshot_2015-10-06-12-58-28.jpg         wpid-screenshot_2015-10-06-12-58-41_1.jpg

My all time favorite…HUGS!!!

We can learn something from a bear hug.

We can learn something from a bear hug.

Hugs have been hard for me to do…even with my family…I know they would never hurt me, but my body did not want people too close.  I’ve come to be able to give and get hugs though…I’ve missed it, and doing it over and over, even when I don’t feel safe doing so (with the people I know love me that is), has helped…again…my Therapist was right!

But I can’t always get the last one (Hugs)…either my family and friends are not around when I could use one, or the people on the street won’t cooperate…Ha!Ha! Not only will they not cooperate…I usually don’t have the ability to go outside my cave. (due to PTSD)

Not going outside my four walls leaves the other things that I would like to do to de-stress, out of the picture…like…taking a walk, riding a bike, hiking, camping, or just sitting on the beach and watching the waves…

wpid-screenshot_2015-10-13-09-53-07_1.jpg   another thing that keeps me from doing this one is…I DON’T LIVE BY THE BEACH ANYMORE!   So sad for me, because the water was always so very soothing.  So I just have to put on meditation music, the ones that have waves in it, and let that be enough.   I was able to find a nice thing on Netflix, it was called Moving Art, and it was oceans…yeah!!!  Almost like being there…and I watch it while I am riding my stationary bike.

Well…we all do what we must to cope.

Now I know that the things I do, may not appeal to some of you, but I have found solace in writing this blog, and keeping a journal, along with trying to write down my experiences (some of those cause stress).

I like aroma-therapy, music, comedies, etc., and they all help for a while…but we all know…those of us living with any form of stress or P.T.S.D., that it is only a temporary fix…we all need to get the help we need to deal with the underlying problems, before our ways of coping…just don’t work anymore.

I’m putting an image of something I found online about how to deal with stress…maybe some of it will help give you an idea on what to do in your life to keep the stress bug away.

wpid-screenshot_2015-10-13-09-50-53.jpg

My suggestion…just do the things that make you happy!!!

I hope my little tidbits can help someone, or give someone an idea on how to de-stress in your daily life.

Thanks again for Hearing!

Sincerely;

Bea Heard

STRUGGLING!

wpid-screenshot_2015-09-02-11-52-07_1.jpg

That word can mean so many things. From Struggling with your first steps, words, feelings, when you are small, to growing up and struggling with peers, fitting in, homework, making the grade, getting into a good college…or getting in to one at all.

wpid-screenshot_2015-09-02-11-50-03_1.jpg

Then there is the struggle with world Hunger, racism, Political Unrest, Homelessness, Mental Health, Body Image, Phobias, Fears, Money Issues…

wpid-screenshot_2015-09-02-11-47-43_1.jpg

In general… Everyone, Everywhere has some kind of tightrope to walk each day, and as the saying goes…”You cannot judge someone, until you have walked a mile in their shoes.”  That is so true, because the tightrope you are walking, and the tightrope I’m walking, and the tightrope others are walking, are not just real, but the fall can be as damaging to me as it can be for you.

Found this picture at vividlife.me

Found this picture at vividlife.me

I know I have been guilty of making statements like….. “If they want to know what problems are, I’ll show them problems.”…or… “What do they know of trouble, they should have my life?”…. and the big one…”They deserve it, they brought it on themselves.”

Why is it then, that when we hear statements like that, we are quick to get upset at those who made them, but cannot even recognize when we do it ourselves? We all face our individual demons in life.

Such a Powerful picture...I found it on thedistinctdot.com...and to me it can mean so many things...our struggles with body image, our trapped deamons, our reaching out to others....everyone can see here what they need to see.

Such a Powerful picture…I found it on thedistinctdot.com…and to me it can mean so many things…our struggles with body image, our trapped demons, our reaching out to others….everyone can see here what they need to see.

I sit here struggling with a Mental Health issue, and I see things posted on Facebook and other social media, that condemns problems like I face, and Millions of others in the world face much of the same.  Then I recoil, and retreat back into my little cave of a world, where I feel safe, and don’t have to hear or read anything that makes me feel smaller than I already feel.

wpid-screenshot_2015-09-02-11-46-47_1.jpg

I know there are many out there who share those same feelings…maybe not for the same reasons…someone may be shrinking back from the crowd because of low self-esteem, some from peer pressure, some from racism, others still from any number of Phobias, fears, etc.

We need to stop Judging others, and thinking that because they are Bigger or Smaller, Thinner or Thicker, Black or White, Christian or Muslim, Poor or Wealthy, Outgoing or introverted…that they need to somehow be fixed by us… We can help in healing IF THEY NEED IT(why do we think that people need to be fixed if they are different…they will ask for help if they need it, or they may not be ready for help if they do need it.), but we are wrong to Judge them, and persecute them because of what they wear or the way that they think.

Take the time to WALK IN THEIR SHOES…and I don’t mean to just think about it for a few seconds…Really take the time to get to know about the things you are unfamiliar with…because it is in Not Knowing that we make the mistake of Judging.

If you really knew my problems, or If I really knew yours, we would be less likely to do and say things that are hurtful, and or harmful to others.

I struggled today to get out of bed, and go about my day…then I think…there are some out there who don’t even have a place to lay their head.  It was only then, when I thought about others that I was able to get myself out of my cave…but I don’t want to be judged as to why I need my cave in the first place.

 No one wants to be judged unfairly…NO ONE!  We all need to understand that each of our struggles are very real and very debilitating, in our individual realities…Then we need to show a little more compassion when looking at others….maybe that is when our own struggles, won’t be as hard to handle.

Thanks for Hearing!

Bea Heard